I was checking in on Ryleigh today while she was napping and after 15 minutes I found myself still standing there looking down at her sleeping. It dawned on me that I have very few of these little moments left with her....with just her. I decided I'd sit down while I still have time and write out these feelings for her....
Dear Ryleigh,
In about 3 weeks you're going to be a big sister. You're going to have an actual baby to love on and cover with blankets...and I am so excited to see it. You are such a loving, polite, and patient little two year old. You're still my little cuddle buddy and even when you test me, your little sense of humor always seems to show. You are so funny. I can't wait to see what you teach your little brother and how you two will interact with each other. I know that you will love him instantly and he will always look to you for guidance. I am so excited to see you both take on the world together.
But in all this excitement I am feeling, I am also sad. I am sad to think that all these moments we have together, just me and you will no longer happen. This baby will no doubt take up my time and energy and it frightens me when I think of how he is going to change our relationship. I will no longer get to spoil you with my free time and I will have a whole other person that I am responsible for. I know at times you will be sad and won't understand why things have changed, but what I want you to know is that I am sad too. I know I will love him as much as I love you, although right now that seems impossible, but you will always be my firstborn. My baby girl. My introduction to parenthood. You taught me things about myself, about life and about love that I never knew existed and that will never change.
It's going to take some time to get used to your brother. Our routines will be turned upside down for a little while and I know you are going to be so patient while Daddy and I figure things out. In the meantime, until baby Cooper arrives I am going to soak up every second of you. I am going to enjoy our last moments together, just you and me. Please continue to make me smile and laugh and know that when the time comes and there's another little person here that needs my time, I'll make sure that there will still be those me and you moments.
I love you Munchkin,
Your Mommy : )
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